What we bought (and passed on) at the Masters golf shop

The green jacket battalion at Augusta National Golf Club cracked the code many years ago for cashing in on patron merchandise sales. And the revenue has only increased since it debuted a state-of-the-art facility in 2018 known as the Golf Shop. The Golf Shop generates $70 freaking MILLION every. single. year. Though that figure likely includes a couple of other onsite locations on the hallowed grounds like Berkman’s Place and the member-only clubhouse where exclusive gear can be purchased.

As dissected by Joe Pompliano on Twitter, that’s $10 million a day, $1 million an hour, $16,000 a minute, and $277 every second. Not bad for only being open for just a week and a half a year (gear can also be purchased during the Masters, Augusta National Women’s Amateur, and Drive, Chip and Putt).

People absolutely lose their shi* like a sugar addicted kid walking into a 2-story candy story. But perhaps the fix is more intense with adults more than willing to max out their credit cards in a matter of minutes. The pictures hardly do the Golf Shop justice. But not all of the merch is created equal.

I spent bank on:

Masters Gnome

A collector’s item with a cult following, the news has blown up about the Masters gnomes this year. Cherubic, cute little bastard (in a good way). On Thursday I went directly to the shop when the gates first opened. Gnome or a prime spot on 18 or Amen Corner instead? For most, this isn’t something you want to lug around all day (or pay extra bucks to ship). But we said f’it and bought us one anyways.

Hole Themed Hat

Their collection of headwear puts your LIDS mall shop to shame, let alone your local pro shop or PGATSS. And there is a style for everyone from a classic and performance fit to rope and bucket hats. But the hole-themed hats stole the show this year. And put a nice dent in my budget. If you were lucky enough to snag one, you’ll easily be the coolest person in your golf group by sporting “AZALEA” on your forehead. Us too. Woot.

2023 Pin Flag

A simple yet sophisticated selection. Especially if you’re a first timer, this was a quality purchase. We picked up three. One to go grab as many sigs as we could on, and two to keep crisp and clean. Pro tip, only go after the John Hancock of past Masters Champions. If you play your cards right and stalk the right players, it will be worth tens of thousands of dollars down the line. We aren’t going to drop any names, but let’s just say one big, lanky lefty super fan of the Saudis signed our flag. A few other participants signed it too.   

Cashmere Sweater

The back left corner of the Golf Shop is where all the high-priced items live.  I splurged for a cashmere sweater. I don’t even know what cashmere is. I do, however, know that it looks rich and costs more than what I usually pay for a sweater. Worth the cost too, it’ll last for years to come.

Masters Socks

You can never, ever have too many pairs of socks. And for sure I was going to forget to buy an item for a friend or relative or my 2nd favorite neighbor – so sockies were a sure-fire way to safeguard any ill will I might have received from someone I left out in the rush/excitement upon entering. Because let’s face it, blacking out and grabbing stuff for just yourself is common.

Baby Clothes

I just had to. And not only for my 6-month-old daughter. That onesie made me a hero when I returned. I didn’t even have anyone else in mind as I shouted out number after number to the kind workers behind the counter. Worth it. How happy is any newbie daddy going to be when I hand him the gift? E.L.A.T.E.D. The demand for baby clothes while I was in the store was crazy. 

I stayed away from

Tervis Tumbler

Everyone loves a good Tervis Tumbler but at what cost. The design (every year) is eye catchy and maybe that’s what you like to collect, but for the price of a their 16-oz and 24-oz versions, you can enjoy a nice buzz by downing multiple Crow’s Nest beers and keep all cups for your next party. Pass.

PGA Tour 2K for PS5 and XBOX

I did a double take when I reached the start of the checkout line. Come on AGNC, you’re better than this. Maybe it was part of a marketing deal for its April 7 release and an attempt to grow the game for the spoiled kids not happy enough unplugging for the day. Full disclosure – I will buy this game, but just not at the Masters. Pass.

Driver Head Cover

Don’t be that guy. A swanky new driver cover may seem like a nice flex for your first golf round after this Sunday. But it will quickly become stale in the eyes of your peers by June. Though I change my tune if it’s for your putter. Pass.

Masters Candle

Not even for the misses. Like Rory’s chances in 2023, this could be gone overnight. Hopefully you caught the suggestion of Brooks Koepka at +4000 and took that bet instead. Wonder how it smelled? Like money burning. Lots and lots of money.

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